Rob Drummond - The Barn Door

Winter started in October that year. Snow began to fall on the 24th and kept coming through mid-April. The field had turned to seed so grazing was finished. The ground was dry and brown and the clean white snow was almost refreshing. This was the fall that marked the end of my first full year as a sheep farmer. My flock was small, maybe 20 or 30 head, but they were all healthy and if everything went as planned, I would have my first lambs in February. It was a little scary, but exciting. The sheep were safely in the barnyard on hay and grain, protected by my Great Pyrenees, Scout. Scout joined the farm as an 8 week old fuzz ball, but had matured quickly and was becoming a reliable guard dog. I never lost a night’s sleep worrying about the sheep when he was on duty. He was cautious but kind to strangers and he was always hopeful that maybe some day one of the border collies would play with him. He was a happy dog and we were ready to take on the winter.

By the end of December the snow was proof of the devil. It was hard to keep the barnyard clear and the snow banks were getting higher than the lift of the tractor bucket. The cleared areas were like skating rinks, and on more than one occasion I was pulling myself up off the ground, only to see the UPS driver watching the nightly spectacle from the warmth of his truck. We didn’t exchange words, but I’d like to think that he was watching to make sure I was still conscious.

The border collies were bored, and the only way to keep them happy was to let them take turns doing chores. They just had to push the sheep into the barn and hold them there while I filled the grain troughs on the opposite side of the barn door. Ice had seized up the rollers and the 12’ monster was stuck in a half open position. I let it go because the last thing I wanted to do was try to force it and end up rehanging it in sub-zero temperatures.

Most nights the chores were routine and the dogs knew what they had to do. They were all pretty competent, although a little disappointed at the repetition and simplicity of their work. Scout would wander through the barn checking his flock, and he was mostly respectful of the work the other dogs did. The only one exception was my dog Andy. For some reason Scout mistook Andy for a bitch in heat, and Andy spent much of his time wiggling and squiggling away from his 97 lb. suitor.  Andy was a good natured dog and calm in all situations that didn’t involve sheep. When sheep were in his radar, every muscle in Andy’s body was tense and you could see the steam come out of his ears. There were demons in Andy’s head telling him to “move the sheep, move the sheep quickly”.

Andy was always a crap shoot at a dog trial. Always the dog that was either going to take the blue ribbon, or send your blood pressure off the charts. When he was listening he was brilliant, when he wasn’t it was a train wreck. During a train wreck, fellow handlers would hear ANDY!,ANDY!, ANDY!, shouted in a progressively louder, deeper tones, and then they would hear the judges last words: “ Thank you. I’ve seen enough!”

On this one particularly cold, nasty evening, it was Andy’s turn to do the chores. The UPS truck had come and gone without incident. Andy had gathered the sheep into the barn and stood holding them while I began to pour the grain into the troughs. I’m not sure how it started, maybe Scout had decided to serenade him, or maybe it was those demons in his head, but what I saw was the back side of Andy racing around behind the sheep. With a loud crash, the first few sheep hit the barn door on their way out and knocked it off the runner. My instinct was to put my arms out and hold it up, but in an instant I was flat on my back, under the door with the rest of the flock charging across me. A quick assessment told me I was still alive and conscious, but I could hear the flock heading out into the small pasture beyond the barnyard, no doubt with Andy hot on their heels. As I began to utter my first hideous words, the sound changed. It was getting closer, and in that instant I realized that Andy was bringing the flock back to the barn. I sucked in enough breath to yell “ANDY LIE DOWN!”  He did, and in a fairly controlled fashion, the flock came back over the door, over me, dropping everything they had in their stomachs through the cracks in the barn door. I was laying on the ice, under the barn door, covered in sheep droppings, but I was alive. Life was good. As I lay there considering the best way to get out of the situation, I heard a loud sniffing sound. It was Scout. He realized I was under the door and was sniffing his way over to me. Then he found me, and like any good guard dog, he decided to mark his territory to keep the predators away. Now I was laying on the ice, under a 300 lb. barn door, covered in sheep droppings, being urinated on by a 97 lb. guard dog.

When I got out from under the barn door Andy was nowhere in sight. That was a good thing. I assumed he cleared the 4’ fence and went back to the house. I straightened out the barnyard, turned out the lights and went to find him. I was still fuming. I went through the kitchen door and said “Where the hell is he”? My wife took one look at me and said “you look nasty and you smell worse. I don’t know what you did to that dog, but the poor thing flew past me and ran into the closet”.

I explained what had just happened outside, but received no sympathy. Apparently, the barn door should have been fixed in the fall, I need to be wearing cleats on the ice and I never should have been using such a hair trigger dog in the barnyard in the middle of winter. “Andy was just doing what Andy always does.”Of course she was right, but it took a while to calm down and Andy spent most of his time in the closet for the next few days. Eventually I forgave him and the lambs started coming and the ground began to thaw and all was forgiven.  He has since retired, but for several years after that I still took Andy out on the trial field, but when the judge would say “I’ve seen enough”, I’d just smile and say to myself “That’s what you think, you ain’t seen nothin”.